After such a lovely weekend.... :( I ruined the memory of it by my flipping out. I am so sorry Master.
I flipped out! Flipping out last night was not a pretty site I know that. I have learned from many years with Master that I do not like to be blindfolded and then reading some of the stuff that he had "suggest" me to read didn't help much either, I should learn not to follow all of the links on a page. It was on the sensual submissive webpage.
I read this one blog that was about a sub whose Master grew tired of her after some time and left her. it was really upsetting to me and it got me to think if my Master could leave me, then if he did what would I do. Could I even function with out him in this world, the answer is NO aside for the D/s stuff on a daily bases I could not function with out him. I was so hurt, and that hurt turned to anger, I use anger as a shield, it is just part of me. I can't explain it really.
Long story short, there was a lot of yelling and crying and I am so very sorry Master for my out burst.
I love you and I love my new montra that you gave me.
I love my Master and my Master loves me
I trust my Master and my Master trusts me
My Master pleasure is my pleasure
I respect my Master and my Master respects me.
Please keep loving me anyway that you can, I can not bare a life with out you. I will try to be a good slave and keep you happy. What ever you need from me to keep what we have together going I will do for you, use my mind, body and soul any way that you need to for your pleasure. I am yours forever.
PS the make up sex was wonderful.
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2 comments:
This is one of the reasons I encouraged you to do this blog. You can work out some complex feelings in here when it becomes difficult to vocalize them.
I love you too, Knottygirl!
I do that all the time... comparing... Am I doing all He may dreams about? Am I interesting enough in and out of bed...
I know I shouldn't, but insecurities are maybe part of the personality? Who knows...
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